9/30 Waffles and The Roof

Wonderful day.

I got up this morning, relatively early so I could shower and get dressed and be up for breakfast on time. Turns out, I didn't need to get up so early because breakfast was still being made. But it was okay, because it gave me time to talk to Victor and Linda. They asked about my family and their situation and things of that nature. Breakfast was so good! Victor made waffles, and with them we added butter, whip cream, strawberries, blackberries, and syrup. Then we watched the Saturday Morning Session in their living room. I was falling asleep, unfortunately. But I was still able to write notes about the session.

Then, I had a chance to take Sarah to White Elegance, a temple dress shop, for her to buy her wedding dress. We met with her friend Sarah Mable Jensen and her sister Christina came as well. I briefly had a chance to say a quick hi and left. Tried to get ahold of Sarah, my sister, but she didn't answer, so I went to the BYU Bookstore and got Sarah Rebecca a game day shirt to match mine. Sarah then did get a hold of me and I asked her if I could come to her house to watch the second session. She said yes.

So, I went over and began watching the second session with them and her roommates. I got a call from Sarah Rebecca asking me if we wanted to go to The Roof (restaurant) on top of the Joseph Smith Building in Salt Lake with Sarah Mable Jensen to eat, but that we had to leave quickly so we could get the reservation time. I said sure, and had to leave right then. Sarah told me to have fun and take pictures.

The Roof was so nice, and Sarah Mable Jensen paid for us. It was buffet style, and the food was extremely good. But besides that, the view was spectacular. We had a table next to the window that was open to see the Salt Lake Temple from up on top. The food was good, the desserts were good. Tons to choose from. It was nice just being there and talking to them both.

We missed the Priesthood Session, so once we got home, Sarah Mable Jensen worked on her homework from her computer and we watched Priesthood on the TV, sitting on the couch. It was nice.

Jacob is doing somewhat better.

Sarah Mable Jensen is a super nice person, and her daughter Scarlet is beautiful with curls and blonde hair and blue eyes.

9/29 BYU vs. Utah State at Studio C and Rotisserie with Sarah

Wow! What a great day!

We left Granny's this morning a little after nine. We made good time and connected with Sarah to meet with her. We went to a Peruvian Rotisserie Chicken place in Orem by the opening to Provo Canyon. It was good. We got 1/2 a chicken and fries and Salad. Sarah Rebecca was talking to Sarah about upcoming wedding plans, and Sarah actually didn't show any animosity or sickness of me and Sarah Rebecca being together. She was super great to me and her. We went to the creamery to get Whoosh Cecil! Ice cream. We got it on Waffle Cones that Sarah had made previously that morning. We ate in the shade of the apartment complex and I got a picture with Sarah. I expressed my sentiment that I was jealous of Sarah's beautiful picture with Jacob at conference, so Sarah said we could take more pictures at her apartment. She first took us on a tour of the creamery. It was pretty cool. We had to wear hair nets. We then went to Sarah's apartment and took pictures outside. Great time with Sarah.

By the time we were done with all that, it was time to go to Countdown to Kickoff at Studio C (which I had gotten tickets for). It was super nice. We checked in and waited for us to call our number. We then got prime seats, which were very well lit so we could see on TV. Spencer Linton was at the soccer game so Dave McCann was taking his place in the desk with Brian Logan and and David Nixon. They were super funny and it was very fun being there for it.

My favorite part, besides being with Sarah there, was when we scored a huge touchdown and the whole Audience starting singing the Cougar Fight Song. Sarah was like how did I make her love BYU and football soooo much?

However, the game was good in the first half only allowing 27-24 Utah State Aggies. But, a concussion on Beau Hoge and Koy Detmer, Jr. taking the reigns and throwing several interceptions, including several turnovers, and we lost 40-27, no points being scored in the Second half. It was still fun, but of course a bit frustrating. At half we had pizza and cookies from Pizza Pie Cafe provided by the people. It was super fun, even if we lost. I got to help Sarah Rebecca learn more about football and the program.

We left. We got into road construction and a car honked at me for like 10 seconds because I totally cut him off. Sat in the car and kissed and talked, then met Victor and Linda, who are super nice and letting us stay at their home for the next couple of days and talked and prayed. Called Mom. Undid a link in the chain that Sarah made. I have the basement. Sarah has the upstairs.

Time for bed.

9/28 First Day of Roadtrip with Sarah:Roselyn and Granny

It's been good, all around.

This morning, Sarah Rebecca and I embarked on our journey towards Hurricane, Utah and ultimately Salt Lake and back.

The ride didn't take that long, it seemed, because we were talking, or listening to music or Brian Regan. We even read our scriptures and a conference talk from Women's session. We ate Blueberry Granola bars and sour cream and cheddar chips. And we drank juice boxes and water the whole ride there.

In St. George, we went to a previous mission companion of Sarah's named Stephanie, that had two girls named Claire and Roselyn. We helped sweep and mop her floor, and I took it upon myself to organize the living room. We enjoyed leisurely time talking outside and watching her girls play on the slide. The house was a big mess, so it was nice to help her clean. Roselyn wanted me to read her different stories while sitting on my lap. It was quite cute. We also talked about Star Wars because Stephanie is a SW nut with her husband. Her husband wasn't there because he was out on business. I learned what estate planning is (it is when you plan out a will or give permission for someone to control your assets if you get sick). Stephanie is a lawyer, which is why we were talking about that sort of thing.

Then we went to Granny's house, and she had McKennah and Kenyon and Kaelyn and Aunt Ann and the baby Layne. We talked about Aunt Ann's first impressions of McKennah and I as kids. We showed Sarah Granny's art and she was amazed. Kaelyn had drawn a portrait of granny that was spot on. When they left, us four went to Lupita's at my request. It was noisier in there than usual. Sarah got the King Size burrito. I got Carne Asada. Ann and Granny shared a type of soup that wasn't soup.

After we got back, we went to say hi to Aunt Kristen and Uncle Kent. Jade was there (we actually knocked on his house door first). But he was over at his parents house. Aryn was there too. Kathrine too, but she was downstairs. It was nice to talk to Aunt Kristen. Before we went to their house, Sarah memorized as many names from pictures as she could. We left after talking for a bit.

Then we watched a few Studio C and an episode of the West Wing.

Jacob, in his every other day letter to President Bednar, seemed really good. We'll see how he feels in the next couple of days.

Big day tomorrow.

9/27 Mr. Martin MIA and Pres. Bednar

I went to work with every intention of working at Sycamore in a first grade class, but luckily, the job cancelled and Valerie had another (more desirable) job: Mr. Martin's SDC class at Jurupa Vista. I was happy to take it (while at the same time a little bit afraid to see where they Valerie would send me). However, when I got there, there were rumors flying around from Mrs. Raymondo and Mrs. Ceja about how he's either really sick or that he quit, which both are very sad. I can't see why he would quit, but Valerie did say that I could take a long term assignment, but since I was going to be out of town starting tomorrow, I told her I couldn't.

The day went by alright. They had a roving SDC aide in there. Mrs. Ramos was really the one in charge of everything today. I just kind of sat back and enjoyed the ride. It was not too bad.

I walked home with Sarah and we went to Target to pick up goodies for the trip. Sarah talked to dad for a bit before we left. President Bednar sent Mom and Dad an email, very good email about steps that are going to be taken on behalf of Jacob. It was very thorough and comprehensive, so much so that I said that I'm going to take it for when I get called as a Mission President (if that would ever happen). Jacob's in good hands. Mom and Dad both talked to President Bednar this morning at 6am. Mom got a very nice impression of him, coupled with the letter. We are feeling very good about everything.

Sarah and Arno invited me out to the temple but I turned it down. Fortunately Sarah wasn't mad at me.

Which reminds me, since I was at Jurupa Vista, I was able to register for tickets to Countdown to Kickoff. I got five of them. (I meant to get only 4).

I watched a middle and BYU Sports Nation with Mom, then I watched a new episode of Season 4 of The Goldbergs. Then I talked to Sarah for an hour and a half. Then she came outside my window and I said hi to her from my bedroom. She wanted to spend some time with me, but I was unaware that she wanted that.

9/26 Tornberg's 5th Grade class and Marriage Links

I was at Sycamore Hills today Roving, but it just turned into a job with Mr. Tornberg's fifth grade class. It went well, because I've been in his class before and I was familiar with how he did things. The kids were pretty good, for the most part. A boy named Justin gave me a run for my money. He was always out of his seat doing anything and everything. I had a couple pencil tossers and sharpeners. The day was good though. We ended outside in the heat playing a game called boomball. It's a good game that the whole class knows and loves. I'm at Sycamore tomorrow as well, first grade though. Laurel was just happy that I took the fifth grade class today. She said she might hug me she was so happy.

Sarah Rebecca came over for a half hour or so. She brought me a chain link of paper which she made. Each link has 95 reasons why she loves me, one for each day before we get married. That was very thoughtful of her. I took my cold old Miguel's burrito to her for her lunch/dinner. She definitely enjoyed it.

Mom found the link to get a seat during Countdown to Kickoff for Friday. The link is byutv.org/audience. Registration opens tomorrow at 10am MST, first come first serve. Hopefully Sarah can get tickets to the show. I am inviting my sister Sarah, and Sarah Rebecca is going to invite Sabina.

Mom and Dad are going to talk to Pres. Bednar tomorrow morning at 6am our time. They couldn't do it today because of Transfers. They are hoping they can talk to Jacob as well. They want Jacob to know that he can come home and recover and then go back out again. They are also willing to wait out a week as he has a new companion, Elder Payne. I told Sarah about it, and was possibly thinking of staying home just in case he came home. But it'll probably be a week before that happens, if it happens. So we are going on our trip starting Thursday. This was the first dad had heard about this.

9/25 Tidings from Jacob and Oil Change

So, my brother is not doing too good, as you can probably tell by his letter to mom that he sent today. My parents are SUPER concerned, like, maybe this is a sign that he should come back home, get better, and go back out, concerned. I guess that might be the right decision. He didn't directly send it to me, so when mom forwarded it to me, I sent it to Sarah and Briana. Not a good idea (I see right now) because Sarah is vulnerable and she called crying to mom and dad. On second thought, I wouldn't have sent that letter at all. Next time (if there is a next time), I'll use more discretion. Mom and Dad are going to call President Bednar tomorrow and discuss with him his next couple of options. We shall see if I will be sharing my room with Jacob by the end of this week. If so, I don't really want to go to Salt Lake. I want to be here for Jacob. IDK.

Oh yeah, the trip is back on. Sarah Rebecca called me emotional today and told me that she didn't take the job.  That she went all the way out there ready to work and they said they had emailed her about actually coming on Wednesday. She looked at the place and its location in Santa Ana and totally felt really bad about working there and that was her decision.

I got my oil changed today at Valvoline. After everything they added on, it still cost me a good $120. Not very fun. They are very thorough and find everything that is recommended to change. I have to start thinking about more things that need to be replaced that cost a pretty penny like a new Serpentine Belt.

Then, after that and talking to Sarah, I picked up Chris Michael Acosta and we went to Wendy's. He just wanted to ask me to invite him to more things that involve more people so he can potentially find a girl and start a relationship. He feels lonely and like he doesn't have any friends.

Mom was concerned when she came home because there was only the mass email from Jacob. So she wrote him to write her and then the whopper of a letter came. It is really rocking their (Mom and Dad's) foundation. They are very emotional. They are comparing it to the time that I got sick.

FHE was good. Instead of having it outside like planned, we changed it to inside. We changed it to dodgeball, which was fun, and I saved some girls sitting on the stage. Then we played Australian kickball, a game that Sis. Harris knew about and taught us. We had fun, but it was very tiring, and dizzying. I started to feel pretty anxious after it. Sarah had asked me for a blessing and I did it after the activity. We prayed first and breathed, and then I gave her the blessing. It was nice, even if I was feeling a bit sick. But I started feeling better after and during it.

9/24 Living a Consecrated life and a Dad participating in setting apart

Sarah gave a talk today on living a consecrated life. It was pretty spectacular. I waited for her dad to get here and we sat together in the front of the chapel to watch Sarah give her talk. She took the time to type it out during my morning meetings this morning. She printed it out on the clerk's office printer with my permission of course. We didn't have bishopric meeting because they had disciplinary councils from 8am through 10am. So I read my scriptures and slept on the couch in the foier with Sarah while she typed up her talk.

Arno stayed by our side during the whole three hour block. He had some good comments in Priesthood. I was in a meeting during sunday school so I don't know if he made any comments then, but what I heard from Danielle Demke when she taught the lesson was good, because she incorporated the Willie and Martin Handcart Companies and the icy water story where the 18 year old boys carried the members of the company across the icy river. Sarah actually started to cry during the retelling of the story. I wiped away her tears.

I stood in on Sarah's setting apart to be the FHE cochair. Her dad did too. Then she had a meeting and that is when we ate and got ready for the Self Reliance class. The class went by alright, we gained Issac Diaz but lost Gail Schaeffer and Axel Falcon to missionaries and illness. But the conversation went by alright. Sister Shaunna Lee brought brownies to the meeting. Which was awesome and very nice of her. The discussion was very good. We talked about tithing and fasting and fast offerings. I really needed it.

I'm going to send the letters and inspirational quotes to Jacob tomorrow. Sarah wrote a letter for him which we're going to include.

Sarah and I walked around the church after Self reliance class.

Letter #36 and response

Hi Jacob!

I hope this letter is finding you in great spirits these days. It's been a good week for me.

Biggest news is Sarah Rebecca found a job and starts tomorrow. It pays good money and means good things for our future. However, we have to sacrifice going to conference. We think it is a good thing to sacrifice though. We can always go in the near future, and we'll have lots of reasons to go. Plus, I've been so many times. Last one with you and Sarah by the way. That was great. Can you believe it's been six months since that time already? I surely can't. We've all grown a lot since then, I'm sure.

I went to Torrance yesterday with Sarah, since there wasn't any games that I cared about on yesterday. We got invited to a funeral, and I know, that sounds down in the dumps sad, but in the end, it actually was rather a good event to be at #1, because all of Sarah's leaders and friends from when she grew up were there and I got to meet them, #2 because the lady who passed had an actually interesting life, and #3, I got to meet with Sarah's older sister before the family party later that day. All of Sarah's friends were sizing me up and asking me questions to get to know me and how we met. Then Sarah and I went to the Redondo Beach and Pier. We sat and talked there for a while, enjoying the sun and ocean air. Then we walked in the wet sand and got our feet wet. We sat next to a family that was playing hispanic music from a DJ. It was music that Sarah really likes. She really likes spanish music. She and Dad have a ton in common in that regard. When she was learning spanish, she would listen to music that helped her learn. Turns out I paid for the wrong parking meter, but it was okay because we didn't end up with a ticket.

The family party/dinner later that night was to celebrate Sarah's dad's birthday. His birthday was on Tuesday. He was passing through Fontana on his way home and we took him out to eat at Taco Bell. Afterwards, we went to Cardenas to get dad chips and salsa and bananas, but for Arno, we got some churros (not the best ones in the world, but still good). The family party was very fun. I got to meet several of Sarah's siblings, three to be exact. Lisa, the oldest with two kids and her husband, and Danny and his wife, and Athena and her kid. They were all fun and very nice to me. I helped Lisa make dinner by cutting strawberries for a salad. She had made that, some great garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, and some very good chicken that was marinated in a very good sauce. It was very tasty. Then, after everyone was done eating the main meal, we sang a happy birthday to Arno and ate a very good cake. Really rich, and very good. It was nice to be with her family and get to know them and them me. It was a fun time and a good "marathon date." I say that because at the funeral they talked about how the person's husband would take her future wife on marathon dates. Now, these dates consisted of doing so many things on one day, like first going to disneyland, then eating, then doing something else and ending the date with bowling. Yesterday was a whole date dedicated to meeting Sarah's family and being with her. The date went well.

On Friday, Sarah and I went to a Friday Night Lights, Kaiser football game against Serrano. It was quite the game to watch. They were neck and neck all the way to the end, which I didn't suspect because Serrano has a losing record, but they gave us a run for our money. It was great though, because at the end we were tied and it looked like we might give up a point in the last few minutes. But defense caught an interception, and in the last few seconds, scored a touchdown! It was crazy. The other team had time for like two more plays. They tried for a hail mary and in the end lost. It was a fun fun date. It was a bit crazy too, because we sat in the back of a family of people. They were not so noisy first half, but come second half, a girl in the family particular started using profanity to the extreme, like saying eff that, etc.

So, just to let you know, I'm thinking of proposing to Sarah this week. I got the ring and everything on Friday. Maybe sometime this next weekend. I still don't know how I'm going to do it, but it's coming. CRAZY! Sometimes I felt this day would never come. But what is different between this time and my time with Stephanie is I know that at the end of the proposal, no matter how I do it, Sarah will say yes. I already know she will say yes, because we are planning on a future together and she includes me in on every thing that is in our imminent future. I'm really grateful for that, because that is something that I never had with Stephanie. I'm still a bit nervous, but it's okay, I'll get over it when the time comes. Maybe next sunday after General Conference I will take her to Redlands temple and do a walk-a-bout with her. We shall see. So crazy!

Mom said Penn State one-up-ed Iowa on Saturday. I did see the last score of the game. So, like mom said in her letter, you have bragging rights for a while.

Anyways, I hope you are doing good. I love you to death and beyond, brother. Sorry if you were expecting more from me. If you want more advice, I will gladly give it.

Take care, and until next week!

John C

Hello Mother!!

You know, I've been thinking long and hard about what I want to tell you in relation to my physical and mental state. The fact of the matter is, I don't feel any better YET. In fact, I feel a heck of a lot worse. This past week was chalk full of me having little mental breakdowns and feelings of inadequacy. Quite frankly, I'm not doing too good. It's like impossible for me to relax. I'm having difficulty finding the joy in missionary work due to this constant stress and anxiety I am feeling. The physical symptoms have continued. I talked to the doctor on the phone on Thursday (I had been taking the medicine for 12 days with no improvement, only worsening symptoms). He told me that that could be a good sign, and to give it another week. So if I see no improvements before this next Thursday, I am going to give him a call and set up an appointment. He mentioned that we may need to increase the dosage of the medication, or perhaps switch to another medication altogether. 

Everybody keeps telling me to be patient, that the medication may take some time to start working. I think that I'm just having the wrong attitude about all of this. I need to start having hope that it will work. Because for right now, it seems pretty hopeless. I have seen no improvements whatsoever, and that makes me lose hope more and more by the day. I am starting to get really discouraged, and I want to change that. These have been the longest two weeks of my life. I have been trying to just ignore these symptoms, these feelings, and continue with missionary work. But it's been really hard. 

But the thing is, I don't want to give up. You're totally right in saying that I am driven. I know that there is a simple solution to this problem. And I know that President Bednar knows as well. He could just send me home and not have to deal with all of this anymore. But I've made it abundantly clear to him that I don't want to go home, that I want to keep fighting, that I want to keep hoping and praying that things will get better with time. I will keep working until I've exhausted all of my options. I will find a way to get better.

I take comfort in the fact that sometimes it takes several weeks for the medication to kick in. I guess the patience will just have to continue, huh?? I am trying to remain optimistic. I just REALLY want to see improvements, so that I can have SOME sort of indication that I'm getting better. But I will continue to exercise my faith, rather than being fearful for the future, because fear and faith can not exist simultaneously.

Once again, President Bednar emailed me and told me to be completely honest with you in my weekly emails. So there you have it. I'm not really doing great. I have been lower this week than I've ever been in my life. And quite frankly, it's scary. But I'm also hopeful for the future. I'm not in a hurry to get home. I want to stay out here. 

There are going to be a lot of changes coming up pretty soon. You're right, transfers are tomorrow!! My training is officially over!! Elder Marcum is going to Jamestown, New York to be a Zone Leader. And I will be staying here in the Lewisberry Bike area to lead out the area. I am still going to be the Junior Companion, however, which I am totally okay with. My new companion is named Elder PAYNE. I don't know much about him, other than the fact that he's really quiet, he's from Canada, he's been out for over a year, he likes bicycling, and likes video games. I don't even know his first name. All of that stuff I told you is just stuff I've heard from other people. I'm excited at the prospect of working with someone different. President Bednar told me in his letter to me yesterday that Elder Payne will be a lot more low key than Elder Marcum and should help me feel the ability to do what I am able until the medication kicks in. 

I am viewing this transfer and new companion as a clean slate. I am going to try to implement those things that I've learned throughout training. Going to try to have a good attitude and DECIDE to like those things that I don't like right now. Because as far as Elder Payne knows, I do like those things. I'm trying to decide how up front I want to be with him. LIke, do I want to tell him about all of the physical and emotional difficulties I've been experiencing early on? I don't really want to, but I feel like I probably will, just so that he can be aware. I just don't want him to show up and find that his companion is sort of broken, you know? I want him to have a good first impression of me. Oh well, we'll see. 

I'm pretty dang nervous to lead out the area. I already know I'm going to make a lot of mistakes these first few weeks. But I also know that regardless of the mistakes I make, the week and the work will still go on. Weekly Planning this past week was sort of a mess, because I was wholly responsible for it since Elder Marcum will not be here. Let's just say I don't know how we're going to get everything accomplished, how we're going to get to the church building for General Conference, etc. It's like all on me now, at least for these next few weeks. Sometimes I wish I could just take a week or two off, to allow for the medication to take affect in a less stressful and hostile environment. But that ain't gonna happen, so I might as well deal with it. 

There's like so much more I could tell you, but that's the main information that I have for you this week. I know, I know, not a lot of fun, happy stuff in this letter. But hopefully there will be some more in the weeks to come! 

Here's a quick run down of the highlights of the week:

- We are teaching an investigator from Puerto Rico, Carlos. He is SO AWESOME.  He has drunk coffee every day for like the past 30 years, but has not drunk any for the past four days, after we taught him the Word of Wisdom. He's come to church with us each of the past two weeks. In fact, he gave us a ride!! He has a baptismal date set for October 21, so we'll be working with him over these next few weeks. I think he can make it!!

- Jadyn Arroyo, Stephanie and Tyler's son, was baptized this past Saturday. It counts as a convert baptism since he's 9 years old. We've been working with him extensively for these past few weeks. Tyler baptized him. It was SO awesome to see that. And Tyler passed the Sacrament yesterday at church. He passed it to his family, and looked SO HAPPY. It was a moment worth remembering forsure. That's what I love about Missionary work. The people.

- We are going to be receiving training on online/Facebook proselyting at Zone Conference next month, and may be starting right after that. We are going to be receiving Samsung smartphones at the start of next year. We will be allowed to keep our tablets, which is great news. 

That's all I've got for you this week! Sorry about the sad nature of this letter. But President Bednar told me to be honest with you. Feel free to respond with your thoughts, whenever you get around to it. I probably won't be able to reply, but it'd be nice to hear what  you thing sooner rather than later. I am not sending this letter to John, Briana, or Sarah. So you can tell them whatever you want regarding my situation, or forward it to them. I probably won't be emailing them today. No time whatsoever. Let them know that I love them and miss them, and that I appreciate their letters every single week!! I apologize, but I may not be able to respond to their letters as often as I would like. 

I love you, Mom. Keep praying for me. I could definitely use it. I'm trying to get better. Maybe this new companion will be good for me? 

Elder Gonzales

Hello Everyone!! 

Transfers are tomorrow, and I will be staying here in the Lewisberry Bike area!! My training is officially over! I'm going to miss serving with Elder Marcum. He was a great trainer and friend. But I'm looking forward to serving with my new companion, Elder Payne. I don't know much about him yet, but I'll be sure to keep y'all updated. 

THANK YOU for everything you do for me!! Your emails and letters make my day. I love and miss all of you!!

Until next week,

Elder Gonzales

1) A member in my ward wanted to give us a little taste of home, so she made us an imitation CAFE RIO dinner. She even put it in the little aluminum tins, just like at the restaurant. I TESTIFY that it was one of the best things that I've eaten since I've been out here. 

2) The last district meeting of the transfer. 

3) Jadyn Arroyo, the son of Stephanie and Tyler (who we baptized last month), was baptized this last Saturday!! Tyler was the one who baptized him!! It made me super happy to see that. They both looked so happy afterwards. (also, let it be known that Stephanie put her arm around me just before the picture was taken. I ain't intentionally breaking mission rules haha)

9/23 Torrance and Redondo and Janie Butcher

Wow! Today was spectacular. I went with Sarah to her house in Torrance for many different reasons. We left at 9am so we could make it in time for a funeral of Janie Butcher. The funeral was very nice. Janie had a lot of nice things, and some funny ones, said about her. She led a very meaningful life. After the funeral, they had a luncheon. Before it, I met all of Sarah's friends from her home ward and stake. One that I remember's last name is wood. She had a sweet impact on Sarah's life which Sarah told me about on the beach. Lunch was really good.

We then changed and went to Redondo beach and parked and laid out a blanket for us to sit and lay with on the beach. We lay there looking at each other and talked about different things. It was nice just to be there snuggling up with Sarah. Then we walked and got our feet wet on the beach. It was our first time ever at a beach.

Oh, before we got to the beach, we were both tested for stress. Haha. We had to hold two pipelike cans.

After the beach, we headed to Sarah's mom's house. Danny and Carole were there to greet us. Then I met Adeena, Sarah's 16 year old niece and her nephew with Autism (I'm not remembering his name right now). I met Lisa earlier at the Funeral, but those were her kids and they live with Helen, their mom. I helped by cutting up strawberries for the Salad. The salad was actually very good. We also had mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and great Ceasar Salad dressing marinaded chicken. The chicken was really great. Then Sarah's sister Athena showed up with her little boy Noah. All of them were very nice to me. We sang happy birthday to Arno and ate the great, really sweet cake. I got to know Sarah's family and they seem really sweet. I helped with dishes in the end.

It was a very good night and I'm not doing it really any justice. Good day as well.

9/22 Go Kaiser and Ansafone

I was at Crestmore Elementary today and I got an idea for a date tonight with Sarah. I told her that she and I could go to a Kaiser High School football game against Serrano. I got the idea because the Bloomington High School team came to the elementary school today to advertise their game and to advertise going to High School and doing their best to get there. It was actually pretty sweet, too, because some of my third graders were like, "I have a pen from your high school," and, "My brother went to high school there." The kids were really sweet and it was pretty heartwarming to see them get excited about high school.

So, Sarah and I went to the game, and it was actually pretty entertaining. The end score was 49-42. Kaiser got the last touchdown in with like 38 seconds to go. Then, the other team made a last ditch effort to win the game, but they failed (thankfully). It was funny because we sat in back of a family. They were really good first half, but they were obscene for a bit the latter part of the second half. This one girl in particular was taunting the crowd and saying stuff like, "What the eff, ref?" It was an entertaining game, and I got my football fix for the week. I was sorta feeling a bit anxious with all the people that were there, because there were tons. I was losing my voice, so I didn't cheer very loud, so that tomorrow I can have my voice when I talk with Sarah's family.

Yes, tomorrow is the day I get to go to Sarah's hometown. I really am looking forward to it. I wanna see the place she grew up.

We had a lot of fun today. We went to her Apple One temp agency. So, Sarah has a job that she is starting Monday with Ansafone, a call center where she'll be doing mostly what she did before really early in the morning til about 2pm. It pays pretty good too, so that is good. After that we got Sarah's oil change at Valvoline, which was surprisingly fast and really nice, because they told us all the things. We had dinner at Carl's Jr, where I tried their fried zucchini, which was super good. Then we went to the game.

Work at Crestmore was actually really nice. I was in a third grade classroom. The kids were all well-behaved. They did their work. Of course, it was all on the computer. The only sad part was when one kid went to speech during fun friday and he cried because he missed the nice time. That was seriously the only thing wrong. Well, also the teacher wrote like 7 things to do in an hour and a half and no time frames for all those things. So two things. It was cool too, because they did a PBIS olympic training and had the kids do some different things, including egg holding and ladder running.

Good day.

9/21 Senor Baja sauce and Fraudulent Emails

I am really tired soooo.......

Sarah and I got into a rut talking to each other today: she wanted me to clarify when I say we should pray and I was feeling anxious afterward. But, otherwise, good time with her. We talked with Tyler Hudrlik (I talked with him personally about getting the ring tomorrow and perhaps proposing at conference like him, pulling a Hudrlik). He told me that Savannah has been out a week in the MTC already (crazy). We also got to see little David, the hispanic looking baby. Institute was good. I sat with Sarah at the front. We had come from a dinner with the Elders at Senor Baja. Sarah got three fish tacos and I got my favorite Asada burrito with the extra Senor Baja sauce they serve. I don't think I could eat without it. They talked with us about the legend/myth of the twelve apostate missionaries. Sarah had heard of it.

Sarah had just gotten back from taking her Uncle Ken to the hospital from his assisted living facility. It had broken her heart having to read all the fraudulent emails from his supposed girlfriend about sending money to her. It's really sickening someone would do that.

My roving at Sycamore had turned into teaching Mrs. Pierce's SDC classroom. It was a really good day, minus a few tiny hiccups here and there. Nothing too bad.

Life is good.

9/20 A Cordial Surprise and Google slides

Today was good!

Sarah sent me a cordial text inviting me out to a surprise...not giving me much detail, so it would be a surprise. She picked me up after I went to the grocery store with mom. I told her, on our route there that I thought she was taking me a place in between home and the library. I was somewhat right, except I didn't include the library in my guess. She had made a mixture of a meal for me. We put a slice of bread on the bottom of our containers, then some mashed potatoes, then some green beans with a steak seasoning (Montreal), and then some condensed mushroom soup. The concoction was very good. I think the green beans did the trick. We also had a blue berry juice that we shared. We ate outside the library. Then we acquired a study room and she told me about the next phase of the plan. She had brought all her construction paper, all her markers and crayons (including markers that had crayon wax on them because they melted in the car) and she told me she wanted to do something for someone who has been having a hard time. She asked me to guess who, and I said Tyler Frederick. She said no. I said Melanie Blakely (because she had reached out to us yesterday) and she said no). Finally, she told me that she wanted to do something for Jacob. She had this great idea to send him inspirational quotes from the scriptures and conference talks, written down on the construction paper with markers by us. She also had a picture of Jesus pulling Peter out of the water that she wanted to give him, and she said we could print out talks, which we did. Well, it was very fun to think of things to share with him. Then, when we were done, I had told Sarah about the Miracle episode of HIMYM and so we watched it, and The Limo, about New Years Eve that is one of my favorite episodes (also, very appropriate, considering we are getting married the day before). It was a nice night.

I helped my mom and dad out today. I listened to my mom about school on the way to the grocery store. And I helped Dad with working with google docs, so he could send a slide presentation to his students and share it. He wrote down the steps. We also talked about what we could do for Jacob, in addition to what Sarah and I did.

Subbing today was okay. Even though I went to sleep super early, I was still super tired most of the day. Since I was roving at Sycamore, they had me do some menial tasks at the end. Folding brochures and ripping paper to add to a packetish. I was in SDC for a little bit. Mrs. Pierce tore the kids down this morning because she had gotten a not so good note from the sub from the previous day. The kids were good for me, mostly. And then I was in another class today, just making sure the kids stayed on Lexia and finishing their tests.

Today was really good.

9/19 Arno and the Churro and air

I noticed last night that for some reason, my job for today had been cancelled. Don't know why. So, I had every intention of working, so I picked up a roving job at Zimmerman, a school that I have been dreading to go back to since the incident of almost losing a child last year. I was greeted with warmth, thankfully. No one mentioned the incident at all, so I was grateful. The day however, was difficult in some rights. I just wasn't good at keeping the kids attention for more than 30 minutes. It was about half and half. Half good, half so-so. In the last hour and a half, they had me doing some filing and folder making for new students.

I came home and rested before Brother Murrish came back to the house to finish what he was working on. The downstairs was definitely a mess.

Sarah asked to come over and we watched the John Bytheway video that Bishop recommend that we watch. It lasted over an hour because we stopped to discuss things we learned and we came out a stronger couple for sure. Then, after talking with mom for a bit about different things, we went to meet Sarah's dad Arno at Taco Bell here in Fontana. He was driving back to Redlands from a doctor's appointment. Nice guy. Today was his 69th birthday, so I payed for Frito Burrito and a Churro to celebrate from Cardenas. We went to Cardenas because dad wanted Chips, Salsa, and Bananas.

Arno (at Sarah's request) told me about stories of how his father was a animal dealer in New York. He even had polar bears and cheetahs in his shop. For his fifth birthday, his parents provided a baby elephant to ride on. Arno is a very nice guy. We helped him pump up his tires before he left. He somehow knew that the air was supposed to be free instead of paying the fee on side. He told me about National University. He graduated from BYU himself. I was first to spot him when he walked through the door. After we had sat back down in the car, before we ate the churros, we sang happy birthday to him as well as in Spanish. I think he enjoyed it.

I work at Sycamore tomorrow, definitely a half day, roving. I do look forward to working with Laurel Allen, the sub manager.

9/18 Bishop's counsel and Letters from Jacob

Today was pretty good. Sarah and I talked to Bishop Ellsworth about getting prepared for marriage and about advice and counsel he had for each of us. He was very candid with us but also was very loving. He just wants us to succeed in our goal to get married in the temple. We brought out some of the concerns we were talking about in previous days and he answered to the best of his ability. He did a good job. Sarah voiced the fact that she's been having dreams about Satan attacking us from all fronts, her and me. She then asked for a blessing which Bishop Ellsworth let me handle with his support. We also talked with Brother O'Neill about stuff like our first connection through Tyler. Also, Brother O'Neill might have a job for Sarah.

Sarah did a great job on the FHE lesson tonight. She shared from Lectures on Faith, and her lesson was about faith and how we can build it. Many people were impressed. I certainly was. She has a knack for teaching, so I'm glad she got to do it.

Jacob's letters, one to Mom and one to me, were nice, but mine was a little disconcerting. He asked me for my help and advice about taking medicine and feeling good in the mission, since I went through something very similar. I'm going to do my best to let him know that he is doing a great job and to be encouraging. I feel like I've told him all I could to make him feel better, but I'll expand on that topic.

I took mom to her Opthamalogist appointment because of her diabetes. Things seem to be doing pretty good in the case of her eyes. They dilated her eyes so I drove her home.

I bought Sarah's wedding ring from Overstock tonight before I went to FHE.

Brother Murrish and friend worked on the water today. They rerouted the hot water through the first floor ceiling. It took them almost all day to do so. They did a good job, though, because I was able to take a nice hot shower later. I let him in early this morning while mom was getting things ready at school. Then, after mom got home I went back upstairs and went to sleep.

9/17 McKell Love and Bishop meeting

Sarah is so good for me and to me. After the Stake Priesthood meeting, we had a conversation in the Don Day Center parking lot about how I felt about talking to Michelle (McKell) Hudrlik. I am very concerned with how I approach her transgender identity. I wanna be loving and understand her. Today, when I introduced Sarah to her, I reminded her again about coming to either Priesthood with me and Alex Garcia, or going to Relief Society with Sydney Tran or Caris Hansen. I hope she can see that I only come to her about these things in love and wanting to understand.

Church was pretty good. I didn't fall asleep, which I'm proud of. In Sunday School, we talked about Winter Quarters and the saint's hard time there and the hard journey across the frozen wasteland of Iowa. Of course, I could relate because that is where I served my mission. Sarah even made reference of that to me.

I was able to get Tylar Coleman to say a prayer in sacrament meeting today, because he said he'd say it last week. Kylen Wyatt, who I think has a nice personality even though I hardly know her agreed to say it after I had asked her to. I really want to get to know her some more too. Robert Henrich taught Priesthood, and he totally showed a video that is a demonstration of his personality, which is he gives off a coolio guy vibe, making friends. The video (it was LDS but I don't know where he got it because it had chinese symbols) was about a black community of saints where one friend started like a tree and branches reaching out to people who were his friends and inviting them to church. I really wanted to say that they now need to invite some girls to church. Then Robert had Greg Obi and Jake and Eric Slemboski do a little like skit/demonstration of how to approach some nonmember about the church.

Sloppy Joes at Potluck were super delectable.

We had our 2nd Personal Finance class and it went super well. We keep on losing members. But the members we have are stalwart LDS and I'm grateful to be their facilitator. We ended pretty early.

Priesthood meeting went nicely. The new stake presidency spoke, and now I have a newfound love for the three men who are our stake presidency. I saw and introduced Sarah to Gus Falcon, and Bishop Weston Taylor. Bishop was so nice and it was sooooooo good to see him. I love that man with all my heart.

Which reminds me, Bishop Ellsworth told me today that he wanted to meet with both me and Sarah in preparation for the sealing and probably give us counsel. Sarah wanted to really meet with him, as we talked yesterday, so I jumped at the opportunity to meet with him.

Sarah got called to the FHE committee. She has a meeting on Wednesday about it. And her talk is on the Law of Consecration.

Cool stuff!!!!!

Letter #35 and his response

Hey Jacob!

I know you were busy last week with important things. It would have been nice, to get a letter but I know you would have sent one to me if you could've. It's always nice to hear something. I always wonder if you got the video with the comments I send about the football games. Some are without sound, so sorry about those ones.

Things are getting into motion. Mom and Sarah Rebecca (and me a little bit) have been talking winter wedding plans. Our colors are going to be purple and blue and silver. Yesterday, Sarah stayed over after we had dinner at Viva Villa to talk with Mom using pinterest to build their conversations. She had added Sarah and Mom to the board called Sarah and John's wedding. I'm probably going to buy the ring tomorrow, but don't tell her that, haha. Then, it'll be up to me to decide when to propose to her. I'm still trying to decide when would be best...I for sure want to do it before the end of the month. We are planning on going up to conference (my third or fourth time in a row) for September 30 and October 1st. She was able to get tickets to the Sunday Afternoon session. Hopefully, I'll also be able to go to Priesthood Session as well. We are going to be staying at Granny's on the way up and down, and perhaps at her friend's place in Provo or perhaps the Aune's, but I still need to call them up.

So, you probably want the low down on the football game against Wisconsin. First quarter we held them to 10 points and we had 3. But we only scored 3 more points. Not very impressive, like no touchdowns at all. It was pretty sad. That's probably a good way to describe the game, it was sad. I mean, the last two points of the game was a fumbled Safety. And the first play of the game bye Beau Hoge was an interception. He through one more as the game progressed, but I did think he learned a bit from the mistake. It's kind of a tough stage to be in, starting in a game against a ranked team and your fellow quarter back injured. I had some hopes, but, in the end, Wisconsin played a good game and our defense was not too bad. We also had some run game for a little bit, but not enough to get us a touchdown. Now we have a bye week, and then they return to play conference weekend on Friday, I think. Hopefully, they'll have a lot of time to practice and iron out kinks so that they can bring their A-game against Utah State. You know how I feel about that game...we gotta retain the wagon wheel bragging rights, haha.

Other than that, I finished The Defenders. I have to say, Daredevil is probably one of my new favorite heroes, I mean, he has no superpowers, but he is a skilled fighter, he has many heightened senses, and he's blind! How in the world does he see the world? (the answer is everything is on fire, haha). I promised mom I wouldn't watch Jessica Jones (which was probably absolutely a good idea), and I couldn't handle Luke Cage. Iron Fist was fun to watch. The Defenders was great. The only down side was that it was only 8 episodes long. I really enjoyed the story, but I am getting sick of The Hand and Elektra and people that are resurrected into a worse state and Madame Gao. I hope they explore more into the characters, which they probably will. But, like I said, hands down, Daredevil is my new favorite superhero and Defender, although, the other's powers are pretty good. And I did like Jessica's sass in the show was spot on. I liked her for it.

We had our 2nd Personal Finance class today. It isn't too hard being the Facilitator. Although, I only have about a class of 6 instead of 12, I'm sure it gets harder with more people, especially when everyone wants a say in the discussion sections. Sarah Rebecca is in my class, and we have been action partners twice.

I always love Sundays. However, the first sunday Sarah was here, I couldn't stay awake during the meeting. I guess I just can't handle the testimonies. Sacrament is great, though. I love greeting people and seeing how they are doing before the meeting. I love feeling like I'm making a difference. Sarah and I sit at almost the very front. We initially chose the front because there was a space where she could put up her leg. Now it's just morphed into a spot and I love sitting up front with Sarah. It's our spot now. Occasionally, Tyler sits up front with us as well. We also sit up front because it's easier for me to get out to record the numbers of the quantity of people. We've been running low because of people who have gone up to BYUI.

Work has been work. I unfortunately had scheduled a job for friday, one that I really wanted, but later they cancelled. Then later the next day it appeared again, but I was at the temple and couldn't get it. Needless to say, I didn't work on Friday. I worked three days last week, and tomorrow I'm taking off to bring mom home from a dilation of her eyes at a doctor's appointment, checking to see how the diabetes medicine is treating her vision.

Mom probably told you, but I discovered a hot spot in the tile near mom's room. Turns out that their is a leak in the pipes in the foundation of our house near mom's room, unfortunately, and right when I got home from church today, they told me that the leak has penetrated the tile and wooden panels. So, another thing to worry about. But all will work out, couple hundred dollars later.

Temple Baptisms went great. I was the baptizer, and I got to baptize Sarah. And then be confirmed for a good number of brethren. I tried doing some ordinance family history work, but I was coming up empty. It was on the Payne side where I was not having any luck.

Sarah's been working, taking odd jobs here and there through the temp agency Apple One. She missed the game because she had to work. She just got called to work in the FHE committee. She's going to have some fun.

Other than that, things have been good. I can't wait to hear about the last two weeks. You are amazing, I hope you know that.

Love you, bud,

John

Hey there man.

So, I sort of need your help. As  you could probably tell from the email that I sent to mom and the rest of the fam, I ain't doing too good. And I feel like you of all people probably know the best of how I'm feeling. I need words of encouragement. Words of advice. How did you get past this entire situation when you experienced it?? What's it like taking medication? Does it actually help? Did you see a noticeable difference quickly? Did it get worse before it got better? I know, we're not taking the same medication, and we're not going through exactly the same thing. How can I learn to relax? Honestly, anything you could say on this situation would help me out. 

Wow. It seems to me like everything is going pretty great with you and Sarah Rebecca! Wedding bells are in the near future! That's just crazy. And you're going to General Conference together pretty soon as well?? Wanna hear something cool?? To make a long story short, Carolina's Conversion story may or may not be told at General Conference by Elder Gavarett of the Seventy (he came to our stake for Stake conference and talked to Carolina). He requested that she type it up and send it to him. And then we got another email today that said that he wanted a picture of her as well. So yeah. That could happen. But this is all just speculation at this point. But me and Elder Marcum are pretty excited about that prospect haha.

Anyways, I love you man. Sorry about not sending you a letter last week. Writing so many letters in a day can be pretty exhausting, tbh.

Elder Gonzales

Dear Mom,

Thanks so much for your email!! I look forward to getting it every single week. You always apologize for telling me about all of the "mundane" things that go on in your life, but in reality, that's exactly the stuff I wanna hear. So no worries!!

I know that you really want to hear some good news from me. And I want so desperately to give it to you. But in all honesty... This past week has been pretty difficult. I've been taking the medication for over a week now, and I've been trying to be patient as I get through this initial hump that the doctor said might occur. Well, the hump occured. And I don't feel a whole lot better now. I had a headache hit me last night when I wasn't even stressed. I was feeling pretty bad on Saturday, as well. Elder Marcum and I just took a break and talked for about two hours about what I was feeling. I don't know what to do at this point. Just continue to be patient? I don't want to call the doctor and tell him that the medication is not working, when I've only been taking it for about a week, and he predicted that this would happen. So I'm thinking I'm just going to wait another week, and hopefully things start to improve. I hate just waiting. I've been trying to change my thinking, to be more optimistic, to just fake it till I make it, you know?? But that's getting exhausting. We had zone conference this last Thursday, and it was all about the enabling power of the Atonement. In Mosiah 24:15, it talks about how to access it. It says that we need to submit cheerfully and with patience. So that's what I'm going to continue to do. I know you must be so sick of hearing me complain about these headaches and feelings of anxiety I've been experiencing. I hope you know that I'm REALLY trying to get better. I can't wait for the day where I email you and tell you that I'm cured. I'm sure you're probably anxiously awaiting that day as well. 

Some days are better than others. LIke, yesterday wasn't too bad at all. I was consciously trying to be more upbeat and optimistic yesterday, and that seemed to help a bit. And I haven't been having any real difficulty sleeping at night. I have been having a hard time taking naps, though. I want to take naps on P-day so bad, but it's like impossible to relax my body and mind for that to happen. I meet with Sister Waterbury every Monday night, and she talks with me and tries to help me out. Mornings are usually worse than afternoons and evenings as well. And I'm not just talking about the physical symptoms, but also the mental and emotional ones. I would say the feelings that I experience on a regular basis are comparable to those I felt when I had to take the drivers' test multiple times. Gosh, it's so hard to explain it. But yeah. I'm trying to be patient with myself so that I can get better. But it's hard, Mom. It's like one of the hardest things I've ever done.

On that happy note. let's start talking about the things that made this week AWESOME, shall we?? Well, you already know this, but I went to the Philadelphia temple with Carolina and the Kauffmans this past Wednesday, and it was awesome!! I'm going to tell you ALL ABOUT IT. 

The temple is like right smack dab in the middle of the city. LIke, it appears out of nowhere, and is surrounded by tons of tall buildings. The grounds are not very big at all. It truly is an absolute GORGEOUS temple, though. The Colonial architecture is pretty unique. The outside is a heck of a lot like the inside. 

Baptisms for the Dead with Carolina was great. Brother Kauffman had to baptize her, since Elders can't be in the font with women for some reason. Brother Kauffman was having difficulty with the words of  the prayer, and kept adding the word "the" at unnecessary parts. The temple workers kept correcting him, and I felt a little bad about it. But I think Carolina had a good time, nevertheless. She's always smiling, it's one of the best things about her.

I got baptized as well, for 30 names. It was quite the experience. It was sort of cool to have Elder Marcum baptize me. Kinda helps with comp unity, you know??

We also did confirmations shortly after baptsims, and I had the opportunity to confirm Brother Kauffman for a few names. It felt great and surreal to exercise my Priesthood in the temple like that.

After confirmations, Carolina went outside and took a nap in the car (she was exhausted, she hadn't slept at all the night before) while we stayed inside and did an endowment session, which was AWESOME, as usual!! The Celestial room was unlike any I had ever even in before. The continued the colonial style with lots of ornate molding and Ionic columns on the wall. There was beautifully crafted dark furnitre, with feathers carved into them to symbolize the quills that signed the Declaration of Independenc. And a massive multicolored window on the far side. I'm so glad I got to see it :)

The design of the rest of the temple was very similar. In the front room, by the destk, they have a painting of the declaration of Independence being signed, to indicate that it was an inspired document. Next to the Baptistry they had a painting of Oliver Cowdery baptizing Joseph Smith. And elsewhere they have a piece that shows Christ appearing to Joseph and Oliver in the Kirtland temple. Man, it was cool.

I got to see a few other famous Philadelphia landmarks, but only from the car. I briefly saw Independence Hall, and the place where the Liberty Bell is currently being held. And also the steps to the Library from the Rocky movie. So that was cool. I didn't get to actually get out of the car and see any of this stuf, but I take solace in the fact that I might be able to tour it  more in depth SOMEDAY.

After that, the Kauffmans took us to Pat's, who have arguably the best Philly Cheesesteak in Philadelphia. I ordered a "Cheesesteak Wit", which apparently means "with onions". It was dang god. Apparently there's this massive rivalry between Pat's and Geno's, which are across the street from eachother. We tried Geno's as well. Pat's is better, hands down. I think they have a 'Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" episode on the rivalry. You should totes watch it. But yeah, it was pretty sweet to have an authentic Philly Cheesesteak. I can cross that one off of the bucket list.

We went home after that. It was a pretty awesome day. I don't if I'll have the opportunity to go to the temple on my mission again, so I enjoyed it as much as I could. Seeing Carolina in the baptismal font was such an awesome moment. I hope she enjoyed it as much as we did :)

Like I mentioned earlier, we had zone conference on Thursday, with Elder Brent H. Nielson presiding. It was awesome. The dude was such a good speaker, and had so much wisdom for us as missionaries. The biggest announcement?? Sometime in the relatively near future, we are going to be receiving Smartphones in our mission. Now THAT is just crazy. I don't know what that means for our tablets. Like, are we going to have both? He never really clarified. I'm not really looking forward to it, to be completely honest. I predict we'll probably start using social media like Facebook as a finding tool pretty soon as well. That just seems like too much to me. But he told us that we need to go where the people are, and in this day and age, the people are online. So that'll be a crazy adjustment. But if it helps further the work, which I believe it will, it will be totally worth it.

Gosh. So much news to write about this week. My hands are getting cramped. But Cheryl was baptized this Saturday, and I can't leave that out!! It was SO COOL to see her make that covenant with our Heavenly Father. The best part was her testimony at the very end. She started tearing up, and said, "I know that this church is so true." Oddly enough, that was the first time that we had ever heard her say that out loud. So that was a proud moment. OH, and I also almost fell into the baptismal font as we were filling it up. So that happend. My entire right shoe and sock were soaked for the entire service. You know how much I hate wet socks.

Mom, I commend you for your missionary work. We love it when the members get involved, so thanks so much for doing that. I'm sure the missionaries were really appreciative that you helped out. It ain't easy finding members that are willing to take time out of their busy schedules, so you're awesome for doing that. Even if it did mean waking up early on a Saturday.

Gosh dang. Sorry about these stupid pipes. You're right, though. Brother Murrish is a skilled guy. He'll figure it out. Hopefully it doesn't end up costing that much. For now, just enjoy the built in feet warmers in the floor.

I don't even know what to say regarding the BYU football team right now. I had heard that they had suffered yet another beat down from one of the Sister Missionaries I serve with. 40-6?? At home?? The team is just having an off year... Sarah wrote in her letter that it's a good time to be on a mission, so I don't have to watch these terrible games, and I 100 percent agree. Poor Kalani. It's been a while since the team has been this terrible. Hopefully we can at least get to a bowl game at this point.

The weather is pretty inconsistent. It hasn't really been super cold yet at all. In fact, it's been pretty warm. I haven't thought about buying a coat, which must mean it's not cold enough for me to be having those thoughts. I don't really know how much money I have in my account. I haven't bought anything with my personal money for a while, not since the ukulele fiasco of 2017. So you'd know better than I would how much is on there. 

I'll try that headache technique you were talking about. I'll try anything at this point. 

Well, there's so much more I could be telling you, but I'll just go ahead and stop here. Thanks for the interspersed emails throughout the week. I hope you know that I love you as well, and that I'm trying SO HARD to just enjoy myself and get better. I know my Savior lives and that He loves me, and wants me to get better just as much as I do. And I will. I will.

Elder Gonzales

1-3) We got to go to the GORGEOUS Philadelphia temple this Wednesday with our recent convert, Carolina. It was absolutely amazing!! I don't know when I'll have another opportunity to go to the temple while I'm on my mission, so I enjoyed it AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Gosh, I love the temple.

4) Cheryl was baptized this last Saturday. It's like watching my kid grow up :') Except for the fact that she's in her 30's and I'm only 19. But you get the idea.

5)This pic needs no caption, right?? A hexagonal Dorito?? You only get those once in a lifetime.

6-7) Have an authentic Pat's Philly Cheesesteak?? CHECK.