Dear other John,
I know that I have said that I hate you. I'm sorry for the blame but if there is one thing that is truthful, it's not that I hate. It's that, at this time I don't totally understand you; at least why you would come out, why you lay dormant, why this creature that you are is so alone and not really a part of me.
I don't want that to be the case. And honestly, I am you. If good and bad were off the table, like it should always be, I do understand you. You like sex. What man doesn't? You care about your wife enough to tell her all the negative aspects of her life to try to force her to change. I think that is gone about the wrong way (since for the most part, you are normally a harmless person in general), but what man doesn't make some visionary mistakes like you? You love your good friend Carlos. What man, thinking someone was taking advantage of him (erroneously and blaming his wife) would let the con artist do such a thing? Not I.
You have the best of intentions but we need to talk about some of these things. I don't like how you've been treating other people: yourself, your friend and his wife, but especially your wife. You have quite the catch and she has stood by all different facets of your temperament. I, like her, want to be on your fighting side. You are just a facet of me that loves humans but just doesn't have the correct bringing up to know the manners and the ethics of your thoughts. I defend you because I love you. I want the best for you and your soon to be family, and I want you to be whole with your entire body, and not faceted as much.
You are not alone. And even though what you do affects me, I hope to always stand by your side and not to put you in a cell, where there is no room to grow and no room for change. Even though, in the last hospital, you did help the actualized John change. Wow, how you ran a rampage in Jail and in Prison. Please not let's ever cross a man again to the extent that I did so at Carlos' apartment nor how I treated the ones that had me captive for 2 days.
Remember what the light of day feels like and how much I love you and want the best for you. Remember that there is a man that suffered so that you didn't have to, if only you choose to follow him. Remember that He is ALWAYS your advocate even when I am not understanding what it is you are doing. Let's always be on the same page with our actions. I love you. I don't want to go back to jail, nor do I ever want you to enter a cell like that again. Although I can't make any promises that life will be that easy, I can say that Sarah is a rock, almost to the degree of toughness as the Savior.
Always stick by your woman. She is here for you, to be by your side at all times, in all things and in all places. Take time to thank her each day for being there for you and be grateful for her strength and trust in your heart of hearts.
Like I said, I love you, and we will get through this together.
John
